News on this project: I have designs which work, both DRAM-only and DRAM-plus-flash.
This project has been thoroughly weird. As mentioned before, only one of the 10 I assembled (dram plus flash) last time worked at all (the first one, which gave me a false sense of hope). I revised that design and tried again, with no success. Tried one last time, completely reworking where the chips are on the PCB, and just tested that design this morning.
Poof, it works. I have assembled and installed four DRAM-plus-flash modules in my eMate, and all of them have reported the increased storage space and System RAM. My DRAM-only design also works, five of those assembled and reporting only the increased System RAM.
I haven't tested installing programs (not sure if you even get to select where they end up, on eMate internal or the upgrade stick), but this is certainly a good sign and step in the right direction.
If you're interested in testing out one of these modules, DM me. Three of the ram plus flash upgrades are available (leaving one for me to test with), and five DRAM-only are available.